Taking Them to The Cleaners

Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.
Frank Leahy
It is no secret that there is some cosmic force at work when I attempt to do business with dry cleaners.

You may be a victim of this irresistible force as it slams head-on into the immovable mass of the Dry Cleaning Industry, which manages to receive, clean, press and efficiently and professionally return millions of garments each year…except mine.

The wrinkle the space-time dry-cleaning continuum for me occurred a few years ago, when we lost a dress suit in a fire at a neighborhood dry cleaners. The attorney representing the establishment bascially told me to screw-off; they weren’t going to pay for the lost garment, and he could drag-out and delay the case until Hell froze over. Nevermind the fact that I had a receipt for the dry cleaning and a receipt from the purchase of the suit that was lost in the fire.

I have had other items lost, damaged, stained, double-creased, mis-pressed and generally ruined in the ensuing years. I now have a very low-tolerance for such shoddy service, and will move my business in a gnat’s breath if a piece of dry cleaning comes back flawed.
Trouble is, I’ve run out of places to go in our part of town.
Been through them all.

My solution has been to submit to a higher power, and just let the chips—and the shirts—fall where they may.

My long-suffering bride of 27-years now handles this part of my life for me. I don’t want to know where she goes; just get ‘em done and don’t tell me. Stuff still comes back with stains and smudges from the cleaners. At least it comes back…

There is a story from ABC News’ Law & Justice Unit about a Washington D.C. attorney who is suing a drycleaners who lost a pair of pants…he’s asking for $67-million.

Guess he wants to “sue the pants off” the Korean immigrant family that runs the place.