...with apologies to the estate of Mary Stevenson and all the Anonymouses who wrote the original version.
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with Al Gore.
Many scenes from how I live my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed how my life created carbon footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of carbon footprints, other times there were one set of carbon footprints.
This bothered me because
I noticed that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from living in a cold house,
anguished over how my actions were affecting the indigenous tribes of South America,
feeling sorrow over misspent elections or defeat at the polls,
I could see only one set of carbon footprints.
So I said to Al Gore,
“You promised me, that if I lived my life in a greener way,
Scrimped on running my air conditioner,
Rode a bicycle instead of driving,
Went to bed when it got dark instead of turning on lights,
Used one square of toilet paper to wipe,
And showered once a week, whether I needed it or not, to conserve energy,
you would walk with me always.
"But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life,
when I cannot afford to fill my car,
or must choose between buying groceries or paying my light bill,
there have only been one set of carbon footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”
Al Gore replied,
“The times when you have seen only one set of carbon footprints in the sand, is when you were walking within the giant carbon footprint that I myself have created on the face of this earth.”