Thursday, June 22, 2006

Thursday's Takes

Guess what?

The United States has found 500 chemical weapons in Iraq since 2003, and it’s expected to find more weapons of mass destruction as we continue to occupy the country. These WMD’s were probably manufactured before 1991, and so are not necessarily proof of any ongoing WMD program in the 1990s, which was the pretext upon which the US went into Iraq.

What they do prove, not surprisingly, is that Saddam Hussein was lying through his mustach when he said all weapons had been destroyed.

It also shows was a sham the UN inspection process was in it’s "now we are, now we aren’t" cycles. More like “now you see it, now you don’t,” which most of the time resulted in “now you don’t.”

ABC News is pumping the public for first-person examples of their experiences with Global Warming. I’m not kidding…on the ABC News Website is this pitch:

“We're currently producing a report on the increasing changes in our physical environment, and are looking for interesting examples of people coping with the differences in their daily lives. Has your life been directly affected by global warming?”

First, any journalist worth his/her salt knows better than to ask a question requiring only a "yes" or "no" answer, which in this case may be merciful. Has my life been directly affected by global warming?
No. Next…

Second, the ABC poll presumes the authenticity of alleged warming of the big blue marble we inhabit. Objection, leading the witness, your honor.

Third, how pathetic must it be for a network-level news operation to resort to priming, and then pumping, the public for such a series. Very objective, ABC. No wonder public trust in the major network news operations has eroded over the years.

It’s a critical day for the U.S. in the World Cup. In order to advance the U.S. needs to beat Ghana, and Italy needs to beat the Czech Republic. You know, I'm surprised the World Cup broadcasts aren't being sponsored by Sominex...

I have a terrible time remembering names.
If I meet you for the first time, I will try to repeat your name at least three times to imprint and bond your face with your name. Comes in handy six weeks later, when we’re cheek to jowl in the grocery express lane, and see one another again.
“Don’t I know you from…?”
…and we fake it for the next fifteen minutes, pretending to be the best of acquaintances, while we rack our brains to figure out the connection.

I was at the wedding of a friend recently.
Big to-do, too. Italian family of the groom, blending with the already-mixed-heritage family of the bride, Asian and Hispanic.
My bride and I were seated with the only other couple in the room we knew besides the wedded pair, at a table with two other sets of their family friends. And as invariably happens, the small talk turned to the tales of our livelihoods, and my work as a Very Important Member of The Media.

This, of course, impressed the gentleman to my left, who proceeded to solicit my interest in his interests, and the request for one of my business cards.

My late great-uncle, Russ Clanton, always said always carry a business card with you where ever you go, because you never know who you’re going to run into. Well, Rupert Murdoch couldn’t make this wedding reception, but the guy on my left had, and wanted my card, which as fate would have it, I did not have with me. Neither did my bride, who usually packs her purse like a Sherpa guide, prepared for any eventuality.
No card. Nada. Zip.

I wrote my name and e-mail address on the back of one of his cards…which may be why I received an e-mail in follow-up this morning: “Dear Bob...”

I almost laughed out loud…until I realized the gaffe is of my own making, being cardless at a wedding reception where I was one of the three palest guys in the room.

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