Spinning Sin

Forget sloth, envy, gluttony, greed, lust, wrath and pride as mortal sins. The Catholic church is going green on indulgence, and one way to translate the new dispensation is that if you fail to recycle plastic bags, you’re going to Hell.

Monsignor Gianfranco Girotti, head of the Apostolic Penitentiary, released an edict listing a new and improved list of mortal sins, including genetic modification, carrying out experiments on humans, causing social injustice, causing poverty, becoming obscenely wealthy, taking drugs, and polluting the environment.

Adds a whole new spin to Don’t Mess with Texas.
By the way, is the Apostolic Penitentiary anywhere near Huntsville, Texas?

Speaking of confessionals, here are some plausible excuses for New York Gov. Elliott Spitzer, who, if you’ve been living under a rock, has been accused of hiring a working girl for a tryst while visiting Washington, D. C. just before Valentine’s Day at the infamous Mayflower Hotel.

So here are some possible mea culpa’s from Elliot Spitzer:

• Doing undercover research on alleged nefarious activities


• Suspected illegal trades going on in D.C.


• Investigating unlawful exchanges


• Following a paper trail


• I said, “that’s a high-priced call, girl.”


• “No, I said my family came over on the Mayflower.”