Friday, May 19, 2006

Jesus Christ and Jimmy Hoffa

I would rather try to persuade a man to go along, because once I have persuaded him he will stick. If I scare him, he will stay just as long as he is scared, and then he is gone.
Dwight D. Eisenhower

Once again, there just aren’t enough matters of substance to worry about in this country, so nearly everyone is up in arms over the movie release of The DaVinci Code, the fictional story of an imagined relationship between Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene.

Dear clue seekers---it’s a m-o-v-i-e---it’s a made-up story…and if you’re offended by the notion, don’t buy a ticket.

Stupid story of the week: The FBI is hot on the trail of Jimmy Hoffa’s remains. Don’t want to let that case get too cold. We’re at war with terrorists, and our Federal government wants to look for some guy who disappeared in 1975.

Hey, fallas, when you’re finished with this one, how about Osama bin Laden?

Second-most stupid story of the week: Wish I had a dollar for every minute Congress wasted this week debating the notion of establishing English as the official language of the United States, and then back-pedaled to simply acknowledge English as the common-language of this country.

The rest of today’s show will be performed in the common vernacular of Texan, with which some easterners, especially in New York and Washington, have some difficulty in fully understanding.

Here’s something to worry about if you live in Texas, especially along the Gulf Coast: Allstate Insurance is dropping its windstorm damage insurance coverage this Fall. Starting September 15th such coverage will stop for about 65,000 policy holders… watch what the rest of the insurance companies in Texas do…and how the state insurance commissioner reacts to this wrinkle before the end of the 2006 Hurricane Season.

Energy Secretary Sam Bodman wants more refining capacity…and the House failed yesterday to lift a ban on drilling on the east and west coasts, and the eastern coasts of Florida. Here’s a group that just does not get it. But what did you expect from the same batch of eggheads who’s solution for our energy issues includes $100 gasoline rebates?

The Independent Petroleum Association of America says studies indicate 362 trillion cubic feet of natural gas could be beneath the waters of the Outer Continental Shelf.

That’s enough to heat 100 million homes for 60 years.

Don't even think about going after that.
Let's worry instead about the implications of made up movies about Jesus and the final resting place of Jimmy Hoffa.

Important stuff.

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