On Needles and Pen

I feel like I’ve been attacked by a rabid Singer sewing machine. My friendly urologist performed a slightly invasive procedure known as a needle biopsy on one of those uniquely male parts of my anatomy, the prostate.

He thanked me profusely for not kicking him during the process, which resulted in a total of 24 precise needle punctures in my backside’s insides.

The prostate is often confused and mis-identified as the “prostrate” gland. That’s an understandable mistake to make, when you must prostrate yourself on a cold, butcher-paper covered table for access to your prostate. On reflection, maybe it should be called the prostrate gland.

The Doc told me the next few days would be colorful experiences for me. I could be an extra in a porno horror film. He also told me no sexual activity for the next few days. No worries there…hard to feel amorous when you really feel like a human pin-cushion.

Guess I shouldn’t whine too long or loudly about one blessedly short session with Dr. Jellyfingers…women endure similar indignities on a more regular basis, I am told.

Here’s the point of all this (no pun intended): Guys—get the check-up. Regularly. Especially if you’re at or beyond the half-century point in your life. Prostate cancer is the most common type of cancer (excluding skin cancer) among American men. According to the American Cancer Society, men aged 50 and older, and those over the age of 45 who are in high-risk groups, such as African-American men and men with a family history of prostate cancer, should have a prostate-specific antigen (PSA) blood test and digital rectal exam (DRE) once every year.

For me, my punctuality (again, no pun intended) for yesterday’s exam was simply to eliminate the possibilities of the cause of a recently discovered anomaly in my anatomy. Watch this blog for updates, soon.