Friday, September 25, 2009

The Zazi Effect

I guess we’re going to have to start going through security checks and taking off our shoes in order to buy shampoo and hair color. Thanks for this latest alteration of American culture and lifestyle goes to Najibulla Zazi, the most recent nimrod arrested for trying to blow up stuff in America.

Zazi allegedly bought hair care and beauty products containing peroxide and acetone, and boiled the contents down to concentrate their chemical components in order to manufacture an explosive device.

Let’s see—we already cannot get on an airplane without a virtual strip search and partially-disrobing…you can’t go to a freaking high school football game without being scrutinized by the local constabulary like you’re some kind of axe murderer.

Now, with the arrest of Najibulla Zazi, I predict the grooming standards in America will begin to fall. No longer will we feel safe to browse the beauty and hair care aisle without looking over our shoulder. And now that products containing peroxide and acetone are sure to be put on some kind of list of items restricted for sale, thus becoming more difficult to obtain, beauty shops and barber shops are going to be shuttered across the land, and we’ll all look like wooly-mammoths by next Spring.

Maybe this is part of a larger plot to help radical Jihadists blend-in with our population: They all look unkempt…and now, we the people will look unkempt…how will you tell us apart?

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