Father of the Groom = FOG

If you haven't seen the video of "Jill and Kevin's Big Day," click on this link and enjoy. This is a wedding processional that actually occured somewhere in Minnesota (the location has been kept secret, but I'd love to know the name of the wedding planner!)

At The Clanton Hacienda, the household is aflutter with final preparations being made for the wedding of our Firstborn Son. The responsibilities of the family on the groom’s side are not as severe as they are for the family of the bride…however, the shoe will be on the other foot (the garter on the other leg?) in less than 90-days as our daughter takes another name and distributes her own change of address cards.

The FOG (Father of the Groom) is an interesting position to be in: We’re responsible for the wedding rehearsal dinner. When first told we had to produce a rehearsal dinner, I quipped, “who needs to rehearse a meal?” which drew a sharp kick from under the table by the mother of the groom to the shins of the father of the groom.
Very quickly the FOG cleared.

Database management is a key area of expertise when you’re planning a rehearsal dinner. Some experience in cryptology is also helpful, as you merge your list of people with the list of peeps from the family of the bride.

We’ve also found it helpful to create a graphical family diagram, showing the lineage of various members of the bridal party. We’ve discovered through that process, and the process of marriages between cousins and friends, that if our son and his bride get any closer to some family connections, we’re all going to have to move to Arkansas to save face.
You know what I mean.

We’re learning a lot about etiquette: If you’re inviting kids to the rehearsal dinner, like the ring bearers, you include the kids’ names on the invitation: "Mr. and Mrs. Bob Brown and Missy" is the correct way to do this.

Three names on the invitation, three places at the table.
Simple math.

I think Congress' influence on the laws of mathmatics is having an effect on the general public, because we’re getting back some interesting interpretations of that concept: invitations for couples are coming back with body counts of 4 or 5.

I'm not "going George Banks," or anything, but I am thinking of hiring a bouncer. Or requiring body cavity searches.
That should thin out the crowd…

Being a frugal FOG has its rewards…especially in planning the wedding of our daughter—who’s had her bags packed since she was four. We've learned, for example, the value of one-stop shopping, securing the services of a Wedding Facility, which purports to provide all amenities at one address.
Sure makes the map inserts in the invitations simple!

I am looking for a Valet Parket service, however. Apparently, some one-stop shops are more inclusive than others!