Biking Like Biden

 

Much ado has been made of late of the cycling accident sustained by President Joe Biden. Two things immediately come to mind: I think it’s excellent that a nearly 80-year-old can still get on a bike; secondly, toe clips are serious business, and not to be taken for granted. I’ve had my own share of run-ins with them.

For ten years, beginning in the mid 1990’s, I was fortunate to accompany the Houston Police Department Bicycle Relay Team on a series of long-distance rides across these fruited plains. We traveled from Houston to far flung places like Seattle, San Francisco, Edmonton, Boston, Kennebunkport, and Quebec City, to name but a few. The team has also trekked to Alaska—a trip of such timing and duration that I was unable to participate.

The point being, I consider myself somewhat experienced in the safe and satisfactory operation of self-propelled two-wheeled vehicles. And toe clips are part of the secret. Toe clips and toe cleats allow a cyclist to apply leg power through 360-degrees of a pedal arc. Instead of only pushing down as each leg falls through the pedal rotation, clips and cleats enable power on the upstroke—and develops some pretty impressive quad muscles in the process!

The problem with toe clips—and especially toe cleats—is that sometimes one (or both) feet can become entangled or trapped in the fixture, causing such calamity was exhibited by Mr. Biden—and completely documented—for the whole world to see. It was funny…but it wasn’t.
But I can top that.

It was no big deal for me to put in a 60-mile ride when I was training for the Relay treks. Admittedly, I would return home pretty well spent from the exertion, and sometimes “de-cleating” was a challenge after such a ride.

Toe cleats are bolted to the bottoms of biking shoes, and are mechanically “grabbed” by a mechanism on the pedal crank that replaces standard bike pedals. To de-cleat, one must kick one’s ankle outward, pivoting on the cleat. When road grit clogs the cleats, they can become obstinate about letting go…and that’s when things get interesting.

I remember riding up my driveway to the house, coming to a slow roll as I approached my garage, and beginning to twist my right ankle outward so that I could free my foot from the cleat and catch myself on the right side. Only the cleat wouldn’t let go.

Fully stopped, my balance now dependent upon equilibrium, I began to list to starboard, still struggling to free my right foot. I extended my right arm to steady myself against the wall of the house…but over compensated, and began to lean to the left. The left foot was still firmly cleated to the pedal, and so over and over I went, falling onto my left side. Body and bike fell as one, joined at the cleats. I rolled my shoulder to cushion the fall, and allowed the momentum to roll me onto my back.

And there I lay, on my back, legs in the air, and the bike above me, cleated to my feet. I actually laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation, and found relief in knowing no one had seen this ungraceful dismount from my bike. Only I wasn’t really “dismounted.”

I carefully shifted the bike to my left and gently rolled my body 90-degrees…and at that point, my right cleat finally let go.

Told you I could top Biden’s biking blunder.

I once invited the Leader of the Free World to mount my recumbent bicycle. That historic event occurred at the conclusion of the Relay Team’s 2004 ride from Houston to Quebec City, via Kennebunkport, Maine. That’s a story for another time…but I’ve got proof.