He is dying.
It’s not supposed to happen this way.
My brother was always the most-athletic, most-fit, most-active of our four siblings.
I was the oldest, then Craig, followed by our sister, and our youngest brother, an arrival when I was 12-years old.
Craig was the cheerleader, the hiker, the outdoorsman, the Boy Scout. Craig was among the first graduating class of the Texas A&M Medical School’s Country Doctor Program, and practiced medicine for the Scott & White Hospital System in Temple, Texas.
I was the oldest, then Craig, followed by our sister, and our youngest brother, an arrival when I was 12-years old.
Dr. Craig Clanton with sister-in-law Darlene Clanton |
Doctors aren’t supposed to get sick, right?
Certainly, not catch cancer.
It’s not supposed to happen that way.
Earlier in the day, the entire family was summoned to a cluttered conference room sandwiched between corridors on the Oncology floor of the hospital. Once assembled, Craig’s team of Oncology physicians stood before us and said there was nothing they could do for him but to make him as comfortable as possible until he passed.
Three physicians, collaborating with other cancer care specialists from around the country, representing hundreds of man-years of experience…coming up empty.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men…etc.
It’s not supposed to happen this way.
Tonight I am sitting alone in the hospital room at the end of the hallway, with my dying brother lying in his bed. There are no beeps of telemetry monitoring his every twitch, no whooshing of oxygen feeding his nostrils; he’s tethered to an IV-drip and a catheter, sucking the last moments of life through a gaping mouth.
The room is peacefully silent, save for his breathing.
It’s not supposed to happen this way.
I always assumed Craig would be the one to officiate at the passing of our parents. In his clinical way he would calm us by telling us clearly and frankly their time was over. No guesswork, no minced words, because that’s the kind of guy he is.
I imagined I, as the oldest, would be the first of our generation to pass on next, and figured Craig would be there, too, holding my wife’s hand, and comforting her as I slipped over (I was the one who contracted cancer first, and beat it.) Telling everyone what to expect and when…and if you wanted to listen, why and how.
That’s the way he is.
Dr. Craig and Carol Clanton (Special thanks to Justin and Mollie Beam for photo) |
He won’t be here for those.
It’s not supposed to happen this way.
Our family is grounded in faith and a hope that we will one day all be reunited again in bodies that will not wrinkle or fade, muscles that will not tire, hairlines that will not recede, and which cancer cannot invade. Our grandparents have been waiting patiently for us, and a few cousins who crossed over before us, too.
Dr. Craig Clanton with Grandson, Keller. (Special thanks to Justin and Mollie Beam for photo) |
That’s how it’s supposed to happen.