I am a fairly handy person...when I'm in the mood. The older I get, the less receptive I seem to be to fixing things like leaking toilets or sticking doors. Some things are better left to younger, more patient people than I.
And, I admit it.
So here, for your contemplation, is a blatant rip-off of the Rogers and Hammerstein tune from "The Sound of Music," which came to me as I was squeezed into the space between the wall and the toilet base this afternoon...
oh, the humanity...
Ball-cocks and float valves, and strip-threaded wing-nuts;
Leaky old fittings, and flappers that won’t shut;
Water that’s running all night like a spring…
These are just some of my least-favorite things.
LED’s winking and alarms that are beeping;
Rattling Dryers, across the floor creeping;
Dishwashers smelling and spewing hot steam…
These are just some of my least-favorite things.
Garage doors that bind up, or down, when they’re closing;
Ice makers clatter and pop when you’re dozing;
Hot water heaters that burp, rumble and ring…
These are just some of my least-favorite things.
When the wall sparks,
When the fuse zings,
When I’m feeling mad…
I look for the number of my handy man…
And then I don’t feel so bad.
