Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Turkeys of a Feather

Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears.
Robert W. Sarnoff
This place is crazy: Kohl’s is opening at 4am Friday to launch the 2007 Christmas Shopping Season?

What could possibly be important enough for you to climb out of bed and get down to a department store at 4:00 in the morning, short of a fire or someone driving through the front plate glass window? Can you think of anything?
Neither can I.

President George W. Bush is pardoning a couple of turkeys in the annual pre-Thanksgiving White House ceremony. I didn’t know Hugo Chavez and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad were back in the country.

CNN wrote this morning, "The bird and its understudy are from Indiana and each weighs about 45 pounds."
Since when does a Turkey need an understudy?
Oh, yeah, the writers are on strike.

The pardoned yard birds will be spared a dinner table fate and then flown to Disney World in Florida. I hope the same fate does not come to them that befell a young seal pup, shortly after the Exxon Valdez fiasco. Environmentalists had rescued the seal from an oil slick, nursed the animal back to health, and then staged a PR event as they released the creature back into the wild in Prince William Sound.

As cameras rolled, the tiny seal cavorted and playfully splashed back into the water…only to be snapped up and swallowed by a passing Orca whale.

Given Disney’s safety record, Orlando might not be the safest place for these turkeys; don’t they have Orca’s doing tricks in Florida?

Would have made a great MasterCard commercial:
Cleaning up the Alaskan coast line after Exxon Valdez: $2.1 Billion.
Cleaning up and rehabilitating a stranded Seal Pup: $1,000;
Having the seal pup swallowed whole by a predator on camera: Priceless.

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